Letter of the Day | Children should be taught to respect boundaries

THE EDITOR, Madam:

I understand that parents will naturally advocate for their children, and they have every right to raise questions when they disagree with a decision made by a school. However, we must also be careful that, in defending our children, we do not unintentionally teach them that every rule they dislike must be challenged or resisted.

A school is not simply a place where children receive academic instruction. It is a community of formation. It teaches discipline, responsibility, respect for authority, consideration for others, and the ability to live within reasonable boundaries.

Parents have an important responsibility. Sometimes good parenting requires us to say, “The school has established a rule; you may not like it, but you must respect it.”

We also need to allow children to be children. There is increasing pressure on young people to possess particular brands, follow every trend, compete with one another, and measure themselves by what they wear or carry. Childhood should not become a competition in status and possessions.

If a particular bag, style or trend has become disruptive, creates unnecessary competition, raises security concerns, or conflicts with the school’s established standards, the administration has a responsibility to address it. Parents may respectfully ask for the reasoning behind the decision, and schools should communicate that reasoning clearly. But disagreement does not automatically make a school rule unreasonable.

Perhaps the larger lesson for all of us is this: children need boundaries as much as they need freedom. Home and school should not become opposing camps. Parents and educators ought to be partners in forming young people who understand that life will sometimes tell them “No” and maturity means learning how to respond to that “No” respectfully.

Let us advocate for our children, certainly, but let us also parent them. Let us teach them gratitude rather than entitlement, individuality rather than competition, respect rather than defiance, and the important truth that they do not need a particular brand or possession to establish their worth.

Sometimes the most loving thing we can give a child is not what they are asking for, but the boundary they need.

REV FR KINGSLEY ASPHALL